I Lost Something...

Losing something is terrible, especially when you don't know what it is...

If you know me, you know that my family and I have gone through some big changes over these last several months. This past Saturday was another first in this time of change, transition and taking apart/putting our lives back together. It was the first time I set foot in our former church. Truth be told, I didn't want to. Not because I didn't want to attend the event (an Eagle Scout court of honor, for a former student of mine who achieved his Eagle rank in the BSA), but because as well as things are going with the ministry I'm involved in now, the wounds are not fresh, but still tender.

As a result, of the events, and interactions and even lack of interactions that morning, I lost something...
I'm not even sure what that "something" is, it might be, a bit of respect, perspective, trust, a friend... Maybe all of the above.

There's actually a lot to process, after that morning, and I have been fairly busy over the last few days, so up until this point I've shoved that morning aside for later processing. I'm hoping to sort it out soon, but I know that I came away with two thoughts.

1 - I'm disappointed about certain aspects of the morning. I'm disappointed in the tales that certain interactions with people tell about the pretense of our relationships. I don't know if I'm maddened, or saddened by them. Probably both. And I'm not sure how this all came to be, certainly not through ideal circumstances.

2 - I'm glad that I went - It was a BIG day for a student whom I have known for a very long time, and care for deeply. I would have walked into the valley of the shadow of death to be there for him.

As a side note I also got to see several other students who were in attendance, kids who I had not seen for over three months, I missed them, and it did me good to catch up with them.

And so like Jerry Seinfeld I feel like the day evened itself out, but like most people, I tend to focus on that which was lost and sometimes not so much on what was gained. And yet, life goes on...

Blessings,

Jeremiah